Imagine your icon showing up as the surprise stripper your friends hired at your birthday party
It better damn well be a private birthday party. I’m not sharing.
I know, right?!? That time when I was 19 and that girl gave me five orgasms in the span of a couple hours I was so confused! I mean.. it felt real. All the signs were there, head rush, body tingles, loss of breath, warmth - so much warmth, exhaustion, elation..just, everything I had come to know an orgasm to be! When I finally came around after feeling like I blacked out, panic struck! I looked around, under the blankets, the pillows, the bed.. and to my confusion -no penis!
My friend asked me what I was looking for, “The Real Thing!!” I screamed! I was sure it had to be somewhere, surely I couldn’t have just experienced such pleasure with The Fake Thing(s).
I tore my room apart, searched every nook and cranny with no luck. But there was one place I hadn’t checked. I looked to my friend, she lay there on the bed, confused and pretty irritated if I’m being honest. Could it be?? Was she hiding it? I had to find out.
I embarked on my search with gusto. Thoroughly exploring any possible place The Real Thing could have gone. Much to my surprise, the harder I looked, the deeper I went the more she seemed to be enjoying herself! In fact, I dare say she had an orgasm or two herself.
Much later when I’d been pushed away and told “No more.” I collapsed on my bed in confusion. She hadn’t been hiding the thing. I stared at my hand and contemplated what had just happened. Could it be?? Could these fingers be The Real Thing? It didn’t make sense - they didn’t look like a penis! I couldn’t be sure, so I promised myself from that day forward I would devote myself to figuring out this great mystery.
It’s been some time since that fateful night, and I’ve yet to find the answers. I have however, found plenty of orgasms. I will continue to “settle” for the good of humanity and report back with any new findings.
NO. NO FUCKING SHRIMP OR HE DIE.
YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN
YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY 17
DANCING QUEEN, FEEL THE BEAT
OF THE TAMBOURINE OOH YEAAAAH
Beauty and The Beat
(A live action ghetto version of the opening song to Disney’s Beauty and the Beast)
In which I take a joke me and my fiancee made too far.
are you sure
are you really sure, biebersgurl4ever1
that you never listen to bieber
are you totally sure
strong evidence that there might be a god
WHAT IS THIS
I am so hungry
I love Lana’s melons.